The art of doing nothing with a three year old in Rome

Ciao from Rome!

This ancient city will always hold a special place in my heart. The last time Erica and I were here, we had been married for exactly one day. Dazed and elated, as in a dream, we found ourselves gliding across the yellow countryside on an Italian train, bound for Rome. This was our first stop on a whirlwind European adventure through multiple countries. We only had a couple jetlagged days to soak in the magic of this place, so we followed the well-trodden path of the typical American tourist: running from monument to monument in the blazing sun, feasting on pasta and pizza and gelato until we couldn’t move, gaping in awe at the wreckage of an empire that once spanned the known world. We were two newlyweds in a very old place. We felt the weight of history. We woke at the darkest hour of the night and compared the sizes of our feet.

Now five years later we have returned, this time with a special traveling companion: our three year old son Jack.

Magic and wonder, those are the first words that come to mind when I picture traveling the world with my son. Some people write about the difficulty of flying across the sea with a young child, others provide strategies for what to pack and how to keep the little tyke entertained while you dine out. I just want to write the words magic and wonder, because that is what I feel.

Jack is the most amazing little person I have ever met. His curiosity and adventurous nature are contagious. He is easy-going and excited for life. He wears a fedora like he was born to do it. Watching him march confidently down a Roman alleyway, or try new varieties of food, or shout “ciao” to passersby (and dogs) fills me with such love I cannot describe.

Again the weight of history bears down on me. Jack is such a new little life, exploring his world, and I am his parent shielding him and teaching him and showing him the ropes. How many others have come before me, how many have walked these same streets, streets that were paved before Christ was a glimmer in his Father’s eye. How many parents have loved and guided their tiny children in this endless city, watched with trepidation as those babies took their precarious little steps over these worn out cobble stones? How many husbands and travelers and lovers and writers and artists and dreamers and musicians and businessmen (and all the other things I try to be) have thought these same thoughts while staring at the Tiber? Who has stood where I stand today, and what did they think and feel?

Being human means celebrating one’s own uniqueness while recognizing that everything we ever do has been done with endless repetition across the span of time. I love picturing the father who visited Rome with his wife and three year old son in the year 1291. The Pantheon and Colosseum were ancient even then. Did he watch his beautiful child play in a fountain and ponder his place in the universe? Did he squeeze his wife’s hand and whisper “I love you” as the sun set over the ruins? Did he keep a blog on some long lost scroll?

This is what history means to me, that we are all the same, that we are all connected by our humanness. Now that I have a tiny human of my own I feel more connected than ever.

Jack isn’t quite so philosophical as all that. He mostly wants to eat biscotti and splash in the fountains.

We have rented an apartment for three weeks in the heart of Trastevere, a restaurant-packed medieval neighborhood full of twisting alleyways and bars bursting with real-life Roman locals. No racing from place to place, no all-day walks across the burning city, no tourist track this time. We want to live like the Romans live. Jack and I go out in the morning and buy fresh fruit at the nearby street market. I drink coffee while he plays in the piazza, in the shadow of a 1,000 year old church. Erica and I eat at our leisure and people-watch and drink wine in the heat. We’re in no rush.

Jack loves to run up and down the alleyways. Up and down, up and down, repeat. He runs as fast as he possibly can, pumping his arms and scrunching up his little face into the very definition of (cute) intensity. Then he gets tired and plops down, mission accomplished. When he’s tired he sits on a stoop and looks around, taking it all in, storing up energy for the next sprint. For the moment he is perfectly content to sing quietly to himself, stare at the bright summer sky, and say ciao to any dogs that pass by. For Jack, it’s about the journey.

Tonight we sat for two hours in the Piazza di Santa Maria in Trastevere. Jack brought some toys and spread them all out on the steps of a fountain. I sipped a large beer and watched as young people gathered on the steps to laugh and smoke and gossip. Street musicians came and went, but we remained. Nowhere to be. Basking in the ambiance of a clear Roman evening, practicing the art of doing nothing.

When I return to California, I plan to bring this Roman style of living back with me. That will be my souvenir. Stop, cherish life. Eat well, love passionately. Laugh, drink, live!

Ciao!